Monday, December 29, 2008

MotoGP 2009 New Year's Resolutions

Well, it's nearly the new year, so here are some new year's resolutions for the major protagonists in MotoGP.

Valentino Rossi: Keep kicking ass.

Casey Stoner: Stop falling off.

Adriana Stoner: Keep being gorgeous.

Uccio Salucci: Try the Atkins diet.

Dani Pedrosa: Learn to overtake, for God's sake!

Andrea Dovizioso: Rub that dwarf's nose in it!

Jorge Lorenzo: Be confident, but not too confident.

Colin Edwards: Keep talking yourself up.

James Toseland: Practise that piano, you might need it some day (unless you return to WSBK!)

John Hopkins: Stop hurting yourself, dude!

Marco Melandri: Don't let the bastards grind you down.

Nicky Hayden: Keep doin' what you're doin', bro!

Loris Capirossi: Keep collecting the pay cheque.

Chris Vermeulen: Start winning in the dry, cobber!

Sete Gibernau: Stop taking that vicious African dictator's blood money and retire, you tit!

Randy de Puniet: Buy shares in carbon fibre fairing companies.

Toni Elias: Keep being a total fruit loop.

Alex di Angelis: Stay out of Frisco with that crash hat.

Mika Kallio: Give better interviews than Kimi Raikkonen.

Yuki Takahashi: Wring that Honda's neck!

Niccolo Canepa: Stay as close to Stoner as you are on the test track.

Doctor Costa: Buy some new duct tape to  heal the riders with.

Dorna: Stop dicking with the rules!

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