MotoGP: Colin's Computer Cockup at Motegi

A leaked email has revealed the reason for Colin Edwards' virtual disappearance in the Japanese MotoGP race at Motegi. Some clown in the Monster Tech 3 Yamaha team programmed the bike's engine management computer with the rain map.

In a profoundly profane email to his father (it's the only way to talk to an Australian after all) Edwards was philosophical about the mistake, but reckoned the guilty party would unsurprisingly get the boot.

Now, I like to have a bit of a dig at Colin as much as anyone. He talks a good game, but has never managed to climb the top step of the MotoGP podium, despite strewing excuses along the way. However, he is a hugely likeable character who tells things as they are, and is a double WSBK champion (his victory over Troy Bayliss at Imola is one of the greatest last laps of all time in any form of motorsport).

It's horrible luck that some birdbrain put a rain map on his bike. What this means is the engine thought the track was wet and therefore had no grip. It therefore refused to deliver much power, or much acceleration, to try and stop the rider destroying his rain tyres or highsiding himself into the clouds. Obviously this isn't much use on a grippy dry track with grippy slicks, so poor old Colin was stuck there, twisting the grip off the bars and still getting nowhere.

Well, his luck has to change some time. He'll be back on the podium.