MotoGP New Year's Resolutions 2010

What New Year's Resolutions did the MotoGP riders make for this coming season? I exclusively reveal them:

Casey Stoner: Eat his greens.

Dani Pedrosa: Grow up to be a real boy this year.

Nicky Hayden: Contain his joy at the impending switch back to 1000cc bikes. Yeeee-haarrr!!!

Loris Capirossi: Grow old gracefully.

Andrea Dovizioso: Remind us what the hell he's doing on a factory HRC machine.

Randy de Puniet: Crash even less than last year.

Colin Edwards: Show Benny Elbowz the way it's done.

Ben Spies: Blow away the Texan Tornado.

Valentino Rossi: Give these kids another masterclass in winning championships. And tell F1 to screw itself again. And make up some better victory celebrations.

Jorge Lorenzo: Try to bounce when Rossi pressures him into a crash.

Alvaro Bautista: Make the Suzuki look more like a blue motorcycle than a brown, steaming turd.

Mika Kallio: Regain the consistency that nearly made him a 125cc champion (Damn Talmacsi!).

Aleix Espargaro: Show us that the satellite Duke isn't a graveyard for rookie dreams.

Hector Barbera: Prove he deserved that surprise call-up to GP from Aspar.

Hiroshi Aoyama: Show us that a Japanese rider can be a real contendah!

Marco Melandri: Regain the form that took him to 2nd in the championship back in the 990 era.

Marco Simoncelli: Kill Bart Simpson!